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Whew! So when is that Easy Bus coming by? Well that’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? Perhaps we are hoping it is coming soon to our bus stop: “When we retire,” “When we finish school,” “When we submit this project,” “When this case goes to the jury,” or “When the kids grow up.” Truthfully, it might be a very long wait until life becomes easier and the Easy Bus rumbles to our stop. |
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My husband, Ken, has been coaching youth on life skills and helping them to launch into adulthood. It’s a challenge for many young adults who suffered greatly during some of their prime formative years when the world shut-down due to COVID. It was probably more negatively impactful on them than we of older generations understand. |
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One of the tools Ken is using is an inspirational speech by Duke University’s head women’s basketball coach, Kara Lawson. Coach Lawson makes the point to her players that life is hard. Excellence is hard! Doing something worthwhile is hard! She says, “it never gets easier, we just learn how to do hard better.” |
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I’ve been considering this idea for a while now; the truth is that life is hard. It’s not the most pleasurable concept I have considered, but getting stronger and handling hard better is. So I have been observing the people around me to either support or refute Lawson’s idea. |
Last week during my manicure, I thought about the Vietnamese immigrant lady who has been tending to my fingers and toes for the past five or so years. She is a married mother of two teens. She and her husband recently had an opportunity to purchase a home. The interest rates were on the higher side of what they expected. She took on another day of work to help with expenses. She now works seven days a week, putting in ten hour days in addition to an hour- long commute each way. I admire her cheerful, energetic manner as she does hard with grace and dignity. She makes what is hard look easy. |
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Two weeks ago my 15 year-old granddaughter competed with her All-Star cheer team in a National Competition in Las Vegas. I watched a video of the final competition, and was filled with awe as she and her teammates, tumbled, flipped and flew. I saw that my girl, as well as her team mates, was giving their best efforts. My granddaughter is on three different cheer squads as she effectively keeps up her grades. She is making hard look easy, but of course it is not! I am guessing that she is just getting really good at doing it all. |
I have continued to look around at others as I test Lawson’s hypothesis. During the forty-nine days in September and October when wildfire flared out of control in the San Bernardino Mountains, the caretaker of our little community of twelve cabins, Daniel, remained on the property to do whatever he could to help. He survived heavy smoke, ash, and flames that came almost to his back door. It was hard living without power in that contaminated, chaotic environment of poor air quality, while teams of firefighters worked hard outside his cottage with fire trucks, bulldozers, helicopters, and shovels. During all those days, Daniel helped to protect the structures. He has become very efficient at doing hard very well. Just the year before, our little community was ravaged by the deadly flood resulting from Tropical Storm Hilary. Daniel stayed then as well. Again he had no power or water for weeks. It was hard. Daniel has learned how to do hard well! I don’t think he was ever waiting for the Easy Bus never to roll by his place. |
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One of the young men whom Ken is mentoring is a full-time college student. He is also helping to raise his four younger siblings all while working 25 hours a week. It’s hard but he is learning ways to make it all work. |
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I’ve been writing a report on the recent wildfires which have devastated so much of Southern California. I believe that writing things down helps us not to forget. To that end I have been writing and writing. But since my vision became compromised a year ago, it is much harder than it once was. I am keeping at it, knowing I will gradually become more effective at living with my new challenge. I get it that it won’t be easy, in fact, my vision will probably get worse, but I will continue learning how to do it better.
So when will that Easy Bus get here? I believe that Coach Lawson is on to something, and the Easy Bus probably won’t make it to our bus stop. What we can do is to encourage ourselves to handle the hard stuff better. Maybe we can allow ourselves grace by accepting that a life well lived is hard. We need to understand that the struggles when achieving our goals are often as rewarding as the payoff. |
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My nail lady owns her own home, the caretaker helped save our cabins, the All Stars won at Nationals, the young man is helping his family while achieving his own goals, and soon my Up in Flames book will be published.
So maybe it’s not essential that the Easy Bus comes our way. Maybe the journey is the real destination? Maybe we just accept that some stuff is hard and we have the determination to get good at doing hard better.
What hard are you struggling with? What challenge have you recently gotten a handle on? I always enjoy hearing about your life and victories. My best, donna |
